


sunshine ; moonbeam

by aceggukie



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Awkward Gay Zuko, Canon-Typical Violence, Disaster bisexual Sokka, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Katara is a bit of an ass sorry, M/M, Mutual Pining, Poor kid goes through a lot, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, aka the best dynamic, canon content can kiss my ASS, sokka pointing at Suki: this is my emotional support lesbian, this bounces between super fluffy and painfully angsty, vaguely follows the plot line of season 3 but not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25680889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceggukie/pseuds/aceggukie
Summary: so maybe Zuko has had a small, admiration fueled crush on the water tribe boy since the boy threw a boomerang at his head. his spirit was inspiring.he was also very cute. but Zuko tries not to think about that.aka.just two bois panicking over their feelings for each other and making out here and there, zero feet apart because they’re so gay
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	sunshine ; moonbeam

**Author's Note:**

> hey wassup hello 
> 
> i don’t have BTS Fics to give so pls take this offering of zukka
> 
> final product will be a projected 20,000 words so yeah

_I never knew anybody 'til I knew you._

_And I know when it rains, oh, it pours_

_And I know: I was born to be yours._

_. Born to be Yours ; Imagine Dragons ._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One year ago, Zuko stepped off a warship and was hit in the head by a boomerang thrown by a boy from the Southern Water Tribe. After he overcame his rage, he was begrudgingly impressed with the boy’s bravery and resilience. And his striking blue eyes. But he pushed the feelings down, down, down, and locked them away. The last time he looked at a boy that way, it ended in pain and fear. He dared not repeat the past. 

Five months ago, Zuko worked in a newly established tea shop with his Uncle, daydreaming about blue eyes and bad jokes, living off glimpses through the windows of the shop whenever a certain boy passed through the area. The pin he put on his feelings dissolves slowly, and vanishes completely after he finally comes out to his Uncle. Iroh embraces him, talks to him, helps him begin to accept who he is. Suddenly, the daydreams don’t feel as taboo. 

Two months ago, Zuko turned his back on his Uncle in a desperate, last-ditch attempt to make his father proud, and regretted every second of it. He couldn’t erase the anger and betrayal written clearly on the Water Tribe boy’s face as Zuko stood with Azula; the confusion in the boy’s eyes haunted Zuko in every waking moment, and plagued his dreams when he slept. 

Three weeks ago, Zuko walked into the campsite of the Avatar and his companions and offered to teach the Avatar to firebend. And maybe he wanted to stare at the water tribe boy. Just a little bit. After finally accepting that he did, in fact, have a crush. 

He expected resistance from the group, and there was some. He swallowed his pride (and the sparks of hurt when the Water Tribe boy ignored him, but he _had_ tried to capture his friend for several months, so he could understand the behavior) in order to try and convince them that he’s a good person now. 

The young blind one—Toph—seems to understand and sense something in him, and agrees to allow him to stay. The Avatar—no, it’s Aang now—agrees with more reluctance, but he needs a fire bending teacher, and Zuko can offer that to him. The Water Tribe boy trusts in his friends, and Zuko valiantly fights away the creeping blush on his cheeks whenever the boy— _Sokka_ , he introduces himself as—looks at him. 

Sokka’s sister, Katara, the water bender, is vehemently against Zuko even being near them, but bites her tongue as she is outnumbered. Zuko tries to ignore her constant angry glare drilling holes into his back. He’s here to teach the Avatar to firebend, not to make friends. 

(And maybe he’s here in part because of his admiration for Sokka. This is only a small part of his decision. Minuscule. Perhaps 10%.) 

(Maybe it’s 40%.) 

(....60%.) 

Zuko finds himself quietly observing Sokka whenever he can; in between bending lessons with Aang and carefully keeping himself on the edges of the little group. Sokka is determined and spirited, something Zuko saw over and over in their previous encounters, but he’s also kind and funny and intuitive. 

Sokka cracks jokes and makes awful puns and Zuko has to bite his lips every time to prevent his laughter from spilling out. He finds himself endeared by Sokka’s wild laughter and bright smile, realizes it’s near impossible for him to drag his eyes away from Sokka when he laughs. 

Days pass slowly and turn into weeks, and Zuko settles into his new life with the Avatar and his friends. Toph takes to him like a fire to a wooden house, the two on a wavelength that the rest of the group can’t really understand. Zuko lets Toph leech off his body heat in the chill of the night, and she talks and talks but never lets Zuko feel like he’s being ignored. 

She feels like the sister Zuko wishes that he had. The thought makes him feel guilty, but the guilt evaporates when he thinks of Azula, her cruel words and burning hands, the cocky smirk on her face whenever their father punished Zuko. Her ringing laugh as he screamed in agony while his father burned his face. 

Nothing gets by Toph, however, and she knows about Zuko’s little crush long before he’s ready to admit the secret to someone besides himself. The conversation between them on the topic is hushed, in whispers, after the rest of the group has gone to bed. 

“You like Snoozles,” Toph says bluntly, leaning against Zuko’s arm to steal his heat. Zuko sputters, taken aback, and his mind races to find an excuse. 

“It’s okay that you do, you know,” Toph continues, and Zuko falls silent. “Back home, I had a crush on a girl down the street. She was very kind to me.”

“She sounds lovely,” Zuko says softly, and Toph snorts.

“Yeah. Then I abandoned ship and went with Aang, so nothing ever happened. So— it’s okay to like a guy, you know. In case nobody has ever told you that.”

“Uncle told me, once,” Zuko replies, his voice wistful; it’s still painful to think about his Uncle, about how he’d turned his back on his only family who tried to help him and truly loved him. “I didn’t say who it was that I was infatuated with. But I told him I liked boys. He hugged me and made tea and we talked.”

“Uncle Iroh is the best,” Toph agrees, grinning. “I only met him once, but he’s super nice. Good advice and good tea.”

“That’s Uncle for you,” Zuko laughs lightly, opening a hand and allowing small flames to dance across his palm. 

“But we’re talking about you and Sokka.” Toph returns to the main subject of the conversation. “You like him. Your heartbeat gets a lot faster around him. It’s kinda gross.”

“Shut up,” Zuko grumbles, eyes fixed on the flames in his palm. Toph shrugs, an obvious denial of the request. 

“Nah. Wanna talk about it? How long have you liked him?” 

Zuko exhales, closing his palm and letting the flames flicker out. “Since he hit me in the head with a boomerang when I stepped into Southern Water Tribe territory.” 

“What? That was ages ago!” Toph exclaims, shoving Zuko’s arm. “Back when you were a bad guy! What gives?”

“He had a spark of determination I’d never seen before,” Zuko elaborates, leaning his chin on one of his palms. “It was admirable. I thought for a while that I was just interested in him because he was traveling with the Avatar. But eventually I realized, after a few more encounters, and a lot of internal battles, that I was kind of in like with a boy on the other side of the war.” 

“Did it make chasing Aang and the rest of us difficult?” Toph asks, an innocent curiosity in her voice, absent of judgement or resentment.

“Yeah, it did.” Zuko closes his eyes, reminiscing. “I didn’t want to hurt Sokka, and by extension, Aang, Katara, and you. I was dead set on pleasing my father by giving him the Avatar, but I told myself that I wouldn’t let him or his companions be hurt or killed.” 

“What a way to woo a man, Sparky,” Toph mutters good naturedly. “When did you decide to stop chasing us and join us?” 

“I never actually wanted to chase Aang, honestly; I was just a kid desperate for his father’s approval. After I betrayed Uncle and went with Azula, I knew everything I’d been fighting for was a pretty lie. I was home, with my father’s approval, but it felt wrong. I couldn’t stop thinking about Sokka, about how I felt so out of place in the palace, about my realization that my father is a cruel man, about the war crimes of the Fire Nation I’d seen first hand while in exile. So I left in the middle of the night, followed you guys here. Joined you.” 

“And what about your feelings? Now that you’re around Snoozles every day?” 

“Stronger than before,” Zuko replies with a self deprecating laugh. “Now I’ve gotten to know Sokka more, and I couldn’t stop liking him even if I tried. He’s genuine, funny. He’s been kind to me, and he cares for those he calls friends. And he’s really, _really_ attractive.” 

“I wouldn’t know,” Toph says. “But Snoozles is a good person. I think he’s growing to like you, too.” 

“ _Don’t_ ,” Zuko whispers, running a hand through his hair. “Don’t give me hope. We’re in the middle of a war. I’m okay with just… looking from afar.”

“Your loss, Sparky,” Toph shrugs. “But really. The fact that there’s a war, that there’s not a lot of time - there is no room for regrets. Nobody knows what’s going to happen. If there’s ever a time, it’s now.” 

Zuko falls silent, thinking. Besides him, Toph closes her eyes, propping her feet up on a small platform she bends into existence. Before long, Toph is asleep, still leaning against him. 

Zuko watches the campfire flicker, eyes unfocused. 

_No room for regrets._

He’s never let himself be happy before, when every waking moment was filled with fear and the need to be better, stronger, smarter. Never entertained the idea of a lasting relationship. He’d been with Mai, briefly, but it was a front that benefited both of them. They could get time alone to talk without guards; Mai about her crush on Ty Lee, Zuko about his fears and infatuation with a Water Tribe boy. Mai didn’t judge, didn’t look at him with disgust. Instead, she held a look of understanding and empathy. 

They’d never really been together, so there wasn’t really a break up. Zuko had left her a letter, prayed that she’d understand, slipped away in the middle of the night. And now he’s here. 

Here, the Western Air Temple, with Toph asleep on his arm, surrounded by the very people he’d once tried to capture. Here, with Sokka asleep inside the temple the group was occupying, oblivious to Zuko’s growing infatuation. 

Here, a place that a Fire Nation prince, even an exiled one, shouldn’t be, but is. A place he should feel unsafe, and extremely out of place. Yet Zuko has never felt more at home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every night, the group gathers around a campfire to eat dinner and talk; sometimes about the war, about strategies, about the high tensions and the bending training. Other times, it’s a lighthearted banter and cheerful small talk, ghost stories from Aang and bad jokes courtesy of Sokka, who Zuko can never seem to take his eyes off of.

Even now, as he sits on the edge of the circle the group had formed, Zuko finds himself drawn to the Water Tribe boy. Zuko turns his head slightly, looking towards where Sokka sits, lounging besides Toph. He’s deep in conversation about something with her, and Zuko watches in silence as the light of the flames flicker over Sokka’s face, highlighting his features. 

Sokka laughs, throwing back his head, and Zuko traces the curve of his neck with his eyes. He forces himself to look away and Toph catches his attention as he does; she raises an eyebrow in his general direction, and he feels his cheeks burn with embarrassment, remembering their conversation about Zuko’s feelings. He shakes his head, looking away from Sokka and at the campfire.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Katara, a frown on her face as she runs a hand up and down a sleeping Aang’s arm. Zuko pretends not to feel her stare, looking firmly at the fire but unable to stop sneaking glances at Sokka time and time again. 

Eventually, Toph heads off to sleep, and Katara has long since taken Aang into the temple they were occupying to get some rest on an actual bed. Sokka sits by the fire still, sharpening his boomerang against a whetstone. Zuko watches him do so, eyes catching the sparks that fly off the metal as Sokka works. 

Sokka glances up at one point, smiling softly as he meets Zuko’s eyes, and Zuko looks away, down at his lap, forcing away the blush on his cheeks. He fiddles with his fingers before pushing himself up.

“I’m gonna go to bed. Goodnight, Sokka,” Zuko says softly, and Sokka looks up from his work and flashes Zuko a bright smile.

“Sleep well, Zuko.” 

Zuko heads into the temple, heart dizzy from hearing his name said by the object of its affection. He stumbles to his room, unaware of the eyes on his back. 

Arriving at his room, Zuko sheds his clothes, changing into a sleep shirt and pants. He lights the candle by the bed with a snap of his fingers and sits down, a sigh of contentment leaving him as he finally relaxes. 

“I see how you look at my brother.”

Zuko jolts, whipping his head around to look at the bedroom door, where Katara stands. Her arms are crossed and her stance is steady and angry, and Zuko shrinks back before he can catch himself. One of her eyebrows raises, obviously expecting an answer, and Zuko flounders for words.

“What are you talking about?” He manages to say, valiantly ignoring the blush climbing high over his cheek. He didn’t think anyone had caught on besides Toph, he’d been careful, careful, careful— never staring too long, hiding his smiles, muffling his laughter and muzzling his fondness. He’d hidden the attraction he felt towards Sokka for so long — longer than anyone would guess. 

“You look at my brother like you want to kiss him,” Katara replies bluntly. She leans against the doorframe, an unimpressed look on her face and a scowl on her lips. “I don’t approve of that. Of _you_. You betrayed me, betrayed us, you’ve tried to kill us dozens of times. You will stay the _fuck_ away from my brother or I swear to Tui and La, I will throw you off the side of this cliff myself.” 

Zuko blinks, taken aback, mouth opening to argue but snapping shut when he realizes he has no defense, no way to make her understand. He can’t deny his affections for Sokka, not when Katara has seen through him so thoroughly. Yet he can’t make himself open up his wounds for Katara to see, to explain why he chased after them, why he turned his back on his Uncle to stand with Azula. 

Katara terrifies him, he isn’t ready for her to know all the details of his ugly past, even if it might make her understand. Katara waits a few moments, making sure her words have sunk in, before she turns on her heel and leaves, head held high. When her footfalls are out of earshot, Zuko falls back onto the bed, raising a hand to cover his eyes. Tears burn at his waterline but he holds them back, taking deep breaths to ground himself. 

He’d never fooled himself into thinking Katara liked him; he knew that she tolerated his presence at best. But her aggressive dismissal and threat on his life made it abundantly clear that Zuko has no choice but to keep his emotions under wraps, to pretend that a certain Water Tribe boy doesn’t make his heart rate pick up. 

Zuko despises feeling sad and helpless, and he turns his eyes onto the burning candle by his bedside. Anger has always felt better than sadness; so Zuko channels his emotions into anger at Katara, at his father, at himself. Anger with the war, with the law that outlawed homosexuality in the Fire Nation, with how easily he was hurt by Katara’s harsh words. 

But he could never manage anger at Sokka. He can’t even make himself pretend to be angry with Sokka. 

The candle burns slowly, as Zuko watches and wonders. Wonders if his life would be easier if he could love Mai; if he was never exiled; if he never met Sokka. 

Somehow, he doubts that it would.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, Zuko does his best to pretend that he didn’t have a major emotional revelation the night before, and fails spectacularly. None of the others seem to comment on how off kilter Zuko is, how he moves as if in a trance. Aang shoots him a single concerned look before they begin training together, quickly occupied by running through katas and breathing exercises. Toph orbits around him at a safe distance, putting Zuko on edge despite his trust in her; knowing her inhuman ability to sense heartbeats and emotions is off putting. Katara still pretends as if he doesn’t exist, as if she didn’t threaten his life last night, and Sokka —

Sokka appears concerned, fleeting glances sent towards Zuko while they’re training on opposite ends of the courtyard. Zuko pretends that his eyes don’t drift from his bending to Sokka, snaps himself to attention whenever he catches a glimpse of Katara. He powers on, silent, remembering how it felt to hide pieces of himself and wondering what is more painful; hiding the fact that he’s gay, or hiding his growing feelings for Sokka. 

Sokka does nothing to help curb the feelings, even though the Water Tribe boy is completely oblivious to Zuko’s secret. He cracks stupid jokes that Zuko has to force himself not to laugh at, shows constant care and kindness towards everyone; even Zuko. Zuko wonders how he earned such a privilege, but drops the train of thought when he knows Katara is looking. He swears that she has a sixth sense for knowing when he’s thinking of Sokka. 

Sokka is endearingly upbeat, and Zuko hasn’t quite got the hang of banishing his smile whenever Sokka comes into the area where he is. This earns him his fair share of angry glares from Katara, ones he ignores for his own peace of mind. 

That evening, Zuko leaves the campfire area after eating, mumbling an excuse about being tired from training, despite the fact that today’s work hadn’t been any more strenuous than every other day. As he stands, he notices a concerned look on Sokka’s face as he watches Zuko leave, and Zuko takes a steadying breath before walking away, towards where his room is. 

Even at a distance, he can hear Toph ask if Zuko is alright; which means he also hears Katara’s response.

“Why does it matter?” 

What surprises him, though, is that Sokka speaks up. 

“Because he’s a friend? If he’s unwell, we should help him.” 

Zuko picks up the pace then, not wanting to fool himself into thinking he might have a chance with Sokka by listening longer. He reaches his room quickly and sits on the bed. He lights a candle and focuses on it as he meditates, forcing his mind to be blank. 

He doesn’t have time to worry himself with matters of his heart. He’d once sworn to never breathe a word about his crush on Sokka to anyone; he intends to keep that promise to himself now. He can’t change the fact that Toph knows, but he can hope that she doesn’t take matters into her own hands. She might; she’s an unpredictable force of chaos. 

Zuko exhales, letting his eyes slip shut. Breathes in, imagines his emotions as little glowing lights before him. Breathes out, reaches for the light that signifies his feelings for Sokka. Breathes in, imagines taking the little ball of light in his hands.

Breathes out. Crushes the feelings in his palms and buries them deep, deep, deep, never to be touched again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zuko is somehow even quieter than Sokka had expected. He’d expected the prince to be a bit shy, considering that he’s an outsider to their group which has been traveling together for a long time and from the Fire Nation, but Zuko moves around them in absolute silence. Sokka sometimes forgets he’s even there until he catches a glimpse of Zuko giving lessons to Aang or meditating by the fire.

Toph seems to have taken to Zuko, constantly around him and pestering him with something or another. And yet, Zuko never looks annoyed or pushes her away, instead responding in kind and taking on an almost brotherly role around her. Toph is the most intuitive of the group, having the best instincts out of them all, and if she trusts Zuko, then Sokka will trust him as well. 

It’s hard not to find himself building trust for the quiet firebender; Zuko shows care in ways that most people don’t notice. Doesn’t protest when Toph leeches off his naturally high body temperature in the evenings, pets Momo without hesitation whenever the lemur hops onto his head. More than once, Sokka has seen Zuko speaking softly to Appa at night, running a hand across the bison’s head. Zuko gives Aang advice and positive reinforcement, a kind teaching method Sokka hadn’t really expected from such an uptight teacher. 

Zuko still gives Katara a wide berth, looks almost afraid whenever the water bender is close to him, but Sokka understands that. His sister is intimidating, and she mentioned threatening Zuko the first night he stayed with them. She told Sokka that she’d threatened to throw Zuko off the cliffs if he did anything to harm Aang, and Sokka knows that’s why she watches Aang’s training sessions with Zuko so closely. She’s waiting for him to slip up so she has a reason to argue for getting rid of him. 

Despite his sister’s obvious hatred towards the former prince, Sokka kinda likes the guy. He’s smart and talented; his sword fighting skills are unlike anything Sokka has ever seen before. He’s working up the courage to ask Zuko to spar with him; working with Zuko, who’s obviously mastered the art of sword fighting, would be amazingly helpful for Sokka’s skills, even though Zuko uses two dao swords, and not a single long sword like Sokka does. 

One thing Sokka has noticed is that Zuko quite literally rises with the sun. As someone who values his sleep, Sokka finds this fact absurd; why would anyone _want_ to get up at the crack of dawn? Yet Zuko gets up early every morning like clockwork, sitting in the light of the rising sun to meditate and run through a series of katas. 

Sokka had seen him do so once when he’d been unable to sleep and awake until the sun rose. The rest of the group had gone to sleep, including Appa and Momo, but Sokka’s mind just wouldn’t stop racing. Going back over the plans of the invasion, worrying about his father, trying to map out how exactly they’re going to get the drop on Ozai to defeat him. Before he’d even realized it, the sun was rising. 

Sokka shakes out of his trance when Zuko emerges from the temple they’ve taken up residence in, watching quietly as the firebender stretches as he heads for the edge of the courtyard. Once close to the edge of the precipice, a bit too close for Sokka’s personal comfort, Zuko sits, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees, forearms extended to either side of himself. Sokka can’t tear his eyes away. 

The sunlight dances across the prince’s hair and skin, making him glow in the morning light. Sokka is mesmerized, lips parted slightly as he observes Zuko. Zuko is still in his sleep shirt, but had obviously changed into pants that he wore for training; a weird combination, but hey, Sokka’s not really in much of a position to judge, considering he hasn’t slept and is still in yesterday’s clothes. The same clothes he’s worn for probably the last three days before that. 

Minutes pass by slowly, and Sokka manages to force his eyes away from Zuko and back to the papers spread out before him. All his plans for the invasion are laid out around him, and he wonders how it went so wrong so fast. He knows that the fact they’d come across Azula instead of Ozai was one of the main reasons since they’d intended to incapacitate the Fire Lord, not fight his daughter. 

Movement catches Sokka’s eye, and he looks up towards Zuko again, almost choking when he realizes Zuko has discarded his shirt and is going through a series of katas to practice and strengthen his bending. 

Objectively, Sokka gets that. Working out shirtless is convenient. Less laundry to do. Aang bends without a shirt all the time— Sokka’s seen Aang shirtless a hundred times, so why does seeing Zuko shirtless make him flustered? 

Shaking his head, Sokka looks back down at the notes scattered before him. He needs to focus. And not on Zuko’s muscles. On his papers. Not the firebender. _Papers_. 

Near silence stretches in the courtyard for a while as Zuko quietly runs through his routine and Sokka reads over the plans, again and again, doing his best not to look up and watch Zuko practice. Eventually, Sokka bites his bottom lip, looking up at Zuko intentionally, not because of his wandering eyes. Zuko came from the Fire Nation; maybe he’d know where the Nation would send prisoners of war like Sokka’s father. 

Even if he doesn’t, it’s worth a shot, so Sokka clears his throat to speak. 

“Hey, Zuko, where would the Fire Nation send prisoners of war?”

**Author's Note:**

> twit: @aceggukie 
> 
> cc: aceggukie


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